Move LifeStyle

Move LifeStyle

Three Months with Baby

We write a lot about how to be a girl on the go, a woman on the move, how to do more in less time, how to keep everything rolling along smoothly. But what about when everything comes to a screeching halt? What about when doing more actually means growing less? When doing it all means in truth, underneath it all, you’re falling apart? These are questions I currently find myself grappling with and it’s an uncomfortable place to be living for someone used to powering full steam ahead day after day. Instead I find myself focusing on mindfulness. Trying to meditate. Slowing my hectic pace down.

Because the girl who does it all has become the woman who cannot possibly do it all. I broke.

I’m asking for support from the people around me. My girlfriends have been incredible. My parents took my kids and me in for a week while I recuperated. My sister flew in from Portland to lend her support. They all tended to a rambunctious 2.5 year old and a needy 2.5 month old for six straight days while I recovered from exhaustion.

I’m recognizing that I’m actually dealing with postpartum stress and that I need to take time to be kind to myself. I’m painting and going to yoga. I mix auditions in there whenever I can manage them, try to meet up with a friend for lunch once a week, and spend lots of time with my kids, but I am trying to remember that I’m in recovery.

To be mindful means two things: 1. Have compassion towards yourself 2. Have gratitude for your environment. This has become my tent pole of reference for which to approach life. I find the first part really, really hard. I have such a driving taskmaster inside me. It’s what makes me ME and it’s such a spiritual challenge for me to learn how to quiet this girl inside me, to let her know, “hey you’re not helping right now, you need to take a vacation inside my brain, lady.” Having compassion towards myself means sometimes I need a nap instead of an espresso. It means acknowledging that I have a lot on my plate and I often overload it. It means I want to create art even through there’s no monetary gain in sight.

The second part of the recipe is easier: having gratitude toward the world around me. I am already so grateful for my life and the gifts it brings me but this part of the equation helps me focus on how grateful I am even for the downswings. This breakdown is the best thing that’s ever happened to me; it’s giving me a chance to rebuild the foundation on which I’ve built my life in a more sustainable way. It’s giving me the opportunity to intentionally create space in my life for myself. For the adolescent girl still inside me who simply loves to paint. For the mom who just wants to enjoy her kids.

I am so grateful for the opportunity this ‘pause’ has brought into my life. I am grateful for the opportunity to become more fully ‘me.’ I can still be a girl on the go. But I’m learning when it’s time to pull over at a rest stop, take a deep breath of gratitude and simply enjoy the view.

Photography ByPaper Tiger Photography

Autumn Reeser's Pregnancy Journal

Author Description

Autumn Reeser

Autumn is an actress + artist living in Los Angeles with her husband, their 3-year old Finn and newborn Dashiell. She is constantly inspired by today’s modern woman.

  • Liesa V
    “I can still be a girl on the go. But I’m learning when it’s time to pull over at a rest stop, take a deep breath of gratitude and simply enjoy the view.”
    Such a lovely post to read! Not because you broke, but to see how well you’ve dealt with it. Very inspiring. I’m glad you feel better now! xx
  • http://www.wayofthewong.com/ Jenn Wong
    xoxo we love you & love you for sharing.
    • Sylvia Hendershott
      ditto what jenn said <3
  • Carolina
    What an amazingly inspiring article! Thank you Autumn for sharing your experience. It’s such a great reminder to check in with ourselves, no matter how hectic and overwhelming life can get.
  • Sophia
    I had postpartum stress too and thank you for sharing your experience as I think many women are afraid to speak up about it. I hope you continue to heal and rebuild your foundation.
  • Autumn Reeser
    Thank you so much for all the good thoughts & your support!
  • Claire L
    get well, take time to fully recover. two kids here too, it’s easy to forget oneself…thanks for sharing!
  • Sophia
    Thinking of you Autumn – sending you love
    and best wishes for a healthful recovery. Take care x
  • Jamie-lee Foster
    This was refreshing to read and shows how important it is to have supportive & loving people surround you. I am currently 3 weeks out from my due date with my first bub & definitely feeling the pressure of having to be a busy working mum as my Husband and I run a successful small business that is growing rapidly & I am unable to take much time for myself & bubs at this stage. I will be surrounding myself with as much love & support to help me get through this adjustment and may have to make some plans for me time already. Wishing you & your family well. X
  • Kristen Honey
    Thank you for sharing Autumn. This is such an important post for me and I’m sure many others. Much love to you! Xo
  • the jealous curator
    you’re amazing (and brave!), and i’m so proud to call you my friend. and those boys? they are so lucky to have you as their mama xo
  • Pingback: Autumn Reeser on the Challenges of Motherhood()

  • Michelle
    While, I don’t have kids, I can’t tell you how much this all resonated with me. The stress and want to do everything is exactly what I have been going through, and not wanting to admit exhaustion and stress, but something happened and I finally did. Since then, I have been trying to remember and this – “I can still be a girl on the go. But I’m
    learning when it’s time to pull over at a rest stop, take a deep breath
    of gratitude and simply enjoy the view.” Thank you for sharing this.
    • Autumn Reeser
      Thank you, Michelle! I’m so glad it resonated with you:)


Move LifeStyle is an e-zine for the modern working woman created by Autumn Reeser, Jenn Wong and Ashley Fauset.