Move LifeStyle

Move LifeStyle

Modern Manners: RSVP

Répondez si’l vous plaît. RSVP. Respond, if you please. A simple request from a gracious host kind enough to invite you to an event.

We live in a digital age. We’re all busy people. An electronic invitation is a quick and simple way to ask your friends to a gathering, but just because the invite came to your inbox rather than your postbox does not mean it is of less importance. A party host depends on a precise guest count to prepare for their event. The guest count dictates the amount of food, beverages and other essential purchases needed to be made to accommodate the crowd. Don’t cause the host stress by turning the planning process into a guessing game.

You must reply to each and every invitation you receive. Never ignore a invitation, regardless of the method by which it was sent. An electronic invite deserves the same handling as an engraved invitation does.

If a potential conflict is pending on your personal calendar, wait to respond until the RSVP cutoff date. If you’re still unsure, it’s best to decline.

Be respectful of the host and reply to the invitation, even if it’s a backyard barbecue with a hundred people on the guest list. Reply. Don’t leave the host wondering if you received the invite. To not reply is simply rude.

Reply early. Let them know as soon as you’re able. If a potential conflict is pending on your personal calendar, wait to respond until the RSVP cutoff date. If you’re still unsure, it’s best to decline. Should the pending appointment fall through, then you have the option to call the host: “Although it’s last-minute, I’m available after all, and would love to attend if it wouldn’t be any trouble.” Party hosts are much happier to accommodate late additions rather than receive late word that you won’t be attending after planning on your presence.

Never reply “maybe”. Never. Ever. Evite should strike the “maybe” option from their template immediately. The “maybe” reply merely serves as decision postponement, a forum to defend ambivalence.

Never reply “maybe” It’s nearly as bad an offense as not replying to an invitation.

“I’ll try to make it, but I have this, that and the other thing that day. Hope to come, but if not, have a great time!” I cringe every time I see a reply of the sort. It’s nearly as bad an offense as not replying to an invitation. And, inadvertently, those who check the “maybe” box often neglect to update their response as the event draws near.

It’s simple: You’re either going or you’re not. Yes, we all have other other commitments. The invitation merely asks you if you can commit to attend. Wait until you’re sure that you’re available or sure that you’re not, and then reply. Don’t make the host come asking for your RSVP. Save yourself the embarrassing conversation and reply promptly.

When was the last time you hosted a party? Did you receive replies from each invited guest? Did you have to reach out to confirm attendance?
Images Via: Paper Source | Wedding Paper Divas

Modern Manners has the answers to your etiquette uncertainties. Have a specific question? Please ask Ashley in the the comments below, send an email to askashley[at]movelifestyle[dot]com or send a tweet to @movelifestyle with the hashtag #MoveAskAsh.

Author Description

Ashley Fauset

Ashley is a party planner, grammar enthusiast, classically trained dancer, and coffee aficionado. She lives in Los Angeles with her musician husband and their hammy four-year-old, and shares her tales of mama-hood at Silver Lake Mom. You can find her online on Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram


Move LifeStyle is an e-zine for the modern working woman created by Autumn Reeser, Jenn Wong and Ashley Fauset.

Oh, hey girl!
We really like you.

We're dreaming up fun things to send you, so please stay in touch!