Move LifeStyle

Move LifeStyle

Ask For Help

I‘ve spent countless years uttering the same phrases: “It’s fine, I’ve got it.” “Don’t worry about it. I’ll do it.” “Yes, I’m sure.”
Living in the day and age of the super woman has not done me any favors. I’m an innate perfectionist influenced by the unrealistic expectations set for women by my own kind, by female overachievers who’ve set out to prove it’s possible to maintain a sparkling household filled with well-mannered children while running high-powered board meetings by day. Sure, it might be possible, but not for someone like me. Not, that is, unless I learn to ask for help.

Too often I am unwilling to accept help, let alone do I request it. I strive to make things easier for those around me, without realizing that in turn, I make life more difficult for myself. Instead of teaching my husband how to put the stroller together, I say, “I’ll do it,” knowing it’s faster to do it myself rather than give him ninety seconds to figure it out for himself.

This year, I am decidedly not going to try to do it all. I am going to ask for help; I will accept help. I will learn the wisdom of delegation, and aim to let go of control. I will let the grocery clerk load bags into my trunk while I strap my toddler into his car seat. I will let my husband do the dishes even though I don’t like way he arranges the plates on the drying rack. I will let my friends set the table while I finish making dinner for girls’ night. I will take up offers by friends to watch my son to have a little time to myself. And I will absolutely agree the next time my husband suggests hiring a maid service to clean our home after we host a big party.

This month, we’re serving up bite-sized advice from experts in different fields to help us all make life a little brighter, more creative and more efficient for 2013. Think of this month as a chance to connect with yourself on a deeper level, get closer to what makes you happy, and take control of the balance in ‘work-life balance’ for yourself this year.


Author Description

Ashley Fauset

Ashley is a party planner, grammar enthusiast, classically trained dancer, and coffee aficionado. She lives in Los Angeles with her musician husband and their hammy four-year-old, and shares her tales of mama-hood at Silver Lake Mom. You can find her online on Twitter | Pinterest | Instagram

  • Sylvia Hendershott
    Yes! It can be so hard to let go of the details of how we want it “just so” but the rewards of accepting help (a form of love) can be so liberating, and even fulfilling, in a whole new way. Letting go is so hard! (Right Jenn Wong? Damn trapeze!)
    • Jenn Wong
      :) yes Syl – but maybe you will learn how to fly…
  • Sarah & Sarah
    What a timely topic this week (we just wrote a piece examining mothers’ universal need for help)! After returning to FT office work this year, I can’t get by without help but it’s hard to come by in LA (without having immediate family near)…or more accurately I feel guilty asking for and/or needing it even though I have a husband and friends who would bend over backwards for me. It’s too bad we’re socialized to feel guilty and pressured to be superwoman. You also mention “female overachievers who’ve set out to prove it’s possible to maintain a sparkling household filled with well-mannered children while running high-powered board meetings by day.” I can relate to how you feel—I once wrote about women who make their lives seem so perfect that their children emit sunshine in “Confessions of a (Not So) Supermom”….but I suspect they’re really not all that happy or honest with themselves and others because it’s not easy to go at it alone. Or am I being unfair? Anyway, thanks for the reminder that we can get by with a little help from our friends. – Sarah
  • Anya Zhukova
    The main reason why I don’t like asking for help is that people I ask often let me down. Even though this is a good advice, I think I should find people I could really trust first.

Move LifeStyle is an e-zine for the modern working woman created by Autumn Reeser, Jenn Wong and Ashley Fauset.

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